Science of Self ™ Knowledge Centre

8 Warning Signs You Lack Emotional Intelligence

Feb 19, 2017

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Here are some of the less obvious indicators that you might not be as emotionally intelligent as you thought.1) You’re Too Nice. Probably the biggest myth surrounding EI is that it’s all about “playing nice” with others and avoiding conflict. This view is profoundly mistaken. EI is about knowing when and how to use emotions: not being assertive enough can be just as bad as being too assertive.

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2) You Can’t Apologise, Admit Mistakes, Change Your Mind, Handle Criticism, or Laugh at Yourself. All these issues are rooted in too much ego, too little humility.

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3) You Can’t Take A Compliment. Many people would rather put themselves down, say “it was nothing,” or attribute their success to other factors than graciously accept credit where credit is due with a simple “thank you.” (Side note: “nice ass” is not a compliment; it’s harassment.)

comp_1.png4) You Can’t Name More Than Three Basic Manners. Here are ten:

  • Saying “Please” and “Thank you.”
  • Waiting your turn.
  • Saying “Excuse Me.”
  • Not staring or pointing at others.
  • Sharing with others.
  • Eating with your mouth closed.
  • Not slurping.
  • Cleaning up after yourself.
  • Asking permission to borrow someone’s stuff.
  • Respecting people’s personal space. 

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5) The Thought of Asking for a Raise or Promotion Makes You Deeply Uncomfortable. Ask yourself: Is confidence, rather than competence, the real issue?

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6) You Suffer From FOMO. If you can’t go more than an hour without checking your phone or Facebook, you may have FOMO: Fear Of Missing Out.

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7) You Brood Like Batman. Batman is an awesome crime-fighting superhero, but as an emotional role model… not so much. Too much time spent alone in a cave just isn’t healthy.

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8) You Can’t Meditate. Some people can meditate, but don’t. But others can’t. There are those who fundamentally cannot bear to be alone in a room by themselves with only their mind and emotions for company.

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Topics: Emotional Intelligence

Theo Winter

Theo Winter

Client Services Manager, Writer & Researcher. Theo is one of the youngest professionals in the world to earn an accreditation in TTI Success Insight's suite of psychometric assessments. For more than a decade, he worked with hundreds of HR, L&D and OD professionals and consultants to improve engagement, performance and emotional intelligence of leaders and their teams. He authored the book "40 Must-Know Business Models for People Leaders."

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